i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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