He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
