Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
