Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
