Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize