I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
