i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
