Sponge bath it is.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
