Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
