it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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