so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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