I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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