I like to think it a success when the cops are called
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
