I want to make a zoo with you.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
