I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
