shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
