i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
