They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize