We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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