The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
