he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
