I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
