shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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