is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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