i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
