That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I deserve to be covered in dicks
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
