I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
