roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
