I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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