I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I am in a vortex of obligation.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
