My brain says no but my pants say off.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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