My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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