I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
