i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
