Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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