thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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