So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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