i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
