what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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