I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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