We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
