You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
