Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We are two peas in an std pod
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
