i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
