It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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