Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
