you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
