I must be too annoying 4 u.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
