he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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