They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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