I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
