My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
