as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We had to coat check the pizza.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
