So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
