they need to just BURY HIM!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
