She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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