the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
