I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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