i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
