worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
