so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
