I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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