btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
