Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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