Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
