okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
