I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
