Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
