kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
