What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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