Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
