im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
