Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
