did you get engaged???
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
