Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is classic penis vs brain.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
