You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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