It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
