I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize