Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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