What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
